Good quotes reveal so much truth in just a few words. When I hear a good one, I save it.
Here are some of my favorites, collected over the years. Some them I agree with, some I don't. But all of them made me stop and think for a moment.
The past and the future are illusions that only exist in the present.
- A. Watts
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln
It's not how many years are in your life, but how much life is in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln
Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
- Adair Lara
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
- African proverb
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
- Al Capone
There are a lot of people who go straight from denial to despair without pausing on the intermediate step of actually doing something about their problem.
- Al Gore, from "The Inconvenient Truth"
Freedom is the chance to be better.
- Albert Camus
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
I do not believe God plays dice with the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
- Albert Einstein
Don't worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are much greater.
- Albert Einstein
Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein
I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals Himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with fates and actions of human beings.
- Albert Einstein
I don't know what weapons will WWIII be fought with, but i know WWIV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
- Aldous Huxley
If God had consulted me before embarking upon Creation, I would have recommended something simpler.
- Alfonso X, King of Castile (1252)
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
- Alfred Hitchcock
You cannot tell your heart what it wants. Your heart will tell you.
- Amanda Smer
And when man faces destiny, destiny ends and man comes into his own.
- Andr Malraux
Trying to reason with a religious fanatic is useless. Don't waste your time and energy.
- Ann Landers
Never give up. Be an individual and find your own style. Look at the great photographers in the world today and you'll see maybe a dozen or so whose work is instantly recognizable...you can say, yes, that's Annie Leibovitz, Arnold Newman, Herb Ritts, or Robert Mapplethorpe. In a word, "signature." I believe that no one can ever give you an eye for photography. There are people who can "see" and it's a gift. By observation and study, you can learn the technique, but you must reach inside yourself to find the emotion, the essential element for a photograph to make a difference.
- Anne Geddes
A kiss is two questions answered at once.
- anonymous
Sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your hole weak.
- anonymous
Every flower must grow through dirt.
- anonymous
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege
denied to many.
- anonymous
Know her mind and you can have her body, know her heart and you have her soul.
- anonymous
When you follow the herd, the scenery never changes.
- anonymous
There are a lot more horse's asses than horses in this world.
- anonymous
Never argue with an idiot, because first they drag you down to their level and then they beat you with experience.
- anonymous
Remember that what's inside of you doesn't matter because nobody can see it.
- anonymous
Many great relationships start or end in a bar. Some of the best do both in the course of an evening.
- anonymous
87.6% of statistics are made up on the spot.
- anonymous
Succeed and credit your teammates or lose and blame it on your own failure to come through.
- anonymous
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
- anonymous
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
- anonymous
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.
- Anonymous
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
- Anthony Burgess
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
- Antoine de Saint-Exup?©ry
A woman can become a man's friend only in the following stages - first an acquaintance, next a mistress, and only then a friend.
- Anton Chekhov, from his play "Uncle Vanya"
If you're in control, you're probably going too slow.
- Anton Senna, Formula 1 driver
She's no spring chicken any more.
- Antonio Banderas, referring to wife Melanie Griffith
One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.
- Antonio Porchia
Give me the place to stand, and I shall move the earth.
- Archimedes
Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility, but through greatness of mind.
- Aristotle
Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.
- Aristotle
The soul never thinks without an image.
- Aristotle
Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I was told at an early age that if you fall down and start to bleed, you should look at the wound and say, 'What the hell.' The other day I saw a little girl fall and I told her, "So what if you're bleeding. Just say, 'What the hell.'
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
We are either alone in the universe or we are not. Both ideas are overwhelming.
- Arthur C. Clarke
If I'd tried for them dinky singles, I could've batted around six hundred.
- Babe Ruth
Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.
- Babe Ruth
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
- Barbara Bush
The little, stupid differences are nothing compared to the big, stupid similarities.
- Bart Simpson, on religion
We don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What we need is to use what we have.
- Basil Walsh
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
- Ben Franklin
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids - $500 sneakers for what? I can't even talk the way these people talk, 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
- Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
- Bill Cosby
No one is more macho than a man who feels inadequate; no one walks straighter than a man who is half drunk.
- Bill James, baseball writer
In the biographies of men and nations, success often arrives in a mask of failure.
- Bill James, baseball writer
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal
Money doesn't talk; it swears.
- Bob Dylan
Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.
- Bono
If nothing in life is a struggle, then life itself will become one.
- Britt Etters
Cancer cures smoking.
- bumper sticker
I'm gonna say, 'I've made a lot of mistakes but, boy, you've made a lot more.'
- Burt Reynolds, on what he plans to say to God
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
- Burton Hills
You can't polish a turd.
- Butthead
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
- Carl Jung
Where we have strong emotions, we are liable to fool ourselves.
- Carl Sagan
A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us, that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood.
- Carl Sagan
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
- Carl Sagan
The idea that God is an oversized white male with a flowing beard who sits in the sky and tallies the fall of every sparrow is ludicrous. But if by God one means the set of physical laws that govern the universe, then clearly there is such a God. This God is emotionally unsatisfying... it does not make much sense to pray to the law of gravity.
- Carl Sagan
Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of this astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy.
- Carl Sagan
In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.
- Carl Sagan, 1987 CSICOP keynote address
A religion old or new, that stressed the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science, might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. Sooner or later, such a religion will emerge.
- Carl Sagan, from "Pale Blue Dot"
If we continue to accumulate only power and not wisdom, we will surely destroy ourselves.
- Carl Sagan, from "Pale Blue Dot"
One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that we've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new bamboozles rise.)
- Carl Sagan, in "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection"
Being with a woman never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for her that does you in.
- Casey Stengel
Mynahs, mockingbirds, and various other birds will mimic sounds in their environment to boost their song repertoire. The more complex a male's repertoire, the more impressive he will seem to females (though this doesn't seem to apply to humans, if Michael Bolton is any indication).
- Cecil Adams, journalist
What's tragic is that [Isaac Newton] may have died a virgin. Not that this is all that unusual. You met many electrical engineers? But mathematicians are probably the worst that way. How the math gene perpetuates itself is one of the mysteries of our age.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
Nostradamus did for BS what Stonehenge did for rocks.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
One path to immortality, assuming you have the requisite endowment of brains, is to obsess.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
Political correctness should always take a back seat to actual correctness.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
The mark of a truly great mind isn't whether you're right or wrong. It's how well you can weasel out of a jam.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
In some ways we know more about what happened in the universe's first tenth of a second than we do about what goes on in the interval between "Your place or mine?" and deciding who sleeps on the wet spot.
- Cecil Adams, journalist
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
- Charles De Gaulle
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, commissioner of the US Patent Office, 1899
There are no good guns. There are no bad guns. Any gun in the hands of a bad man is a bad thing. Any gun in the hands of a good person is no threat to anybody, except bad people.
- Charlton Heston
I know everybody's got to make a buck. I just wish they didn't even know my name.
- Chevy Chase
I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.
- Chevy Chase
Me winning isn't, you do.
- Chevy Chase, in "Caddyshack"
Man who say it cannot be done should not interrupt man doing it.
- Chinese proverb
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.
- Chinese proverb
If you can't mine it, drink it, or fuck it, you shoot it.
- Chris Cutress, tour guide, on the mentality of West Australians
Men lie the most, but women tell the biggest lies.
- Chris Rock
I feel not for the ignorant, but for the forgotten.
- Chu Hsi
Baseball wrong - man with 4 balls cannot walk.
- Confucious
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
- Confucious
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
- Confucious
Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
- D.H. Lawrence
Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
- Dan Quayle
We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
- Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
- Dan Quayle
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
- Dan Quayle
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
- Dan Quayle
Intelligence without ambition is like a bird without wings.
- Danielson
The space between the tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more.
- Dave Matthews, in "Space Between"
Frankly, what I've learnt in my life could be crammed in the end of a condom and shoved up a cat's arse.
- David Bowie
The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.
- David Russell
Smell the flowers while you can.
- David Wojnarowicz
Be sure you are right, then go ahead.
- Davy Crockett
The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
- Don Herold
Our culture is just like the junk food we live on: It fills you up without the distracting burden of nourishment. An average person exposed to television, movies, and magazines is overwhelmed by messages that arouse, stimulate, and suggest that the answer to all problems is the same: gratification. Have a beer, take a pill, roll on the deodorant, get a Whopper, JUST DO IT!
- Dr. Drew Pinsky, from "Cracked"
What our culture lacks are honest messages about what it really means to be a healthy human being. Or how you make humans grow. These are sort-of-boring topics that won't sell Budweiser or Nikes.
- Dr. Drew Pinsky, from "Cracked"
In this country, we don't care for the aged and diseased. We keep them hidden away in hospitals and institutions, never to dirty our hands with their care, while we inundate ourselves with images of youth and unrealistic messages about optimum health. As a result, most of us are shocked when we age. We expect eternal youth and health.
- Dr. Drew Pinsky, from "Cracked"
Life isn't all about fun and sex. It can be even better. Slow down. Listen to your inner voice when it comes to right and wrong. Think for yourself. Be more human.
- Dr. Drew Pinsky, from "Cracked"
I think, therefore I'm single.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President
Rejoice O young man in thy youth.
- Ecclesiastes
Education can train, but not create, intelligence.
- Edward Sait
Anything more than 500 yards from the car just isn't photogenic.
- Edward Weston
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
- Erasmus
If you don't risk anything, you even risk more.
- Erica Jong
Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization.
- Eugene Debs
Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
- Ezekiel 23:19-20
The fans appreciate a good baseball player. I know some guys were booing, but they love the guy.
- Felipe Alou, baseball manager, after watching Barry Bonds hit his 660th career home run
Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
- fortune cookie
In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.
- fortune cookie
Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time.
- fortune cookie
Take time to enjoy life and you will see its beauty.
- fortune cookie
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- fortune cookie
Laughter to a man is like oil to a machine.
- fortune cookie
Whatever you are, be a good one.
- Fran?ßois de La Rouchefoucauld
Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
- Francis Bacon
Knowledge is power.
- Francis Bacon
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
- Francis Bacon
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.
- Frank A. Clark
Learn to listen. Opportunity could be knocking at your door very softly.
- Frank Tyger
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Nothing is more dangerous than a big thought in an empty head.
- Frans Van Damme
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
- Friedrich Nietsche
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher regard those who think alike than those who think differently.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
When a woman has scholarly inclinations, there is usually something wrong with her sexually.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I hurt people. I'm a dick. Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit.
- from "Team America" (drunk guy to Gary)
Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't apporoporate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.
- from "Team America" (Gary relaying the wisdom)
Feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
- from "Team America" (Gary relaying the wisdom)
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- from the Torah
The trouble with youth is that it is wasted on the young.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
- George Bernard Shaw
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- George Burns
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- George Burns
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
- George Carlin
I like making people squirm. I like to find out where their line is drawn and then deliberately cross it and, if possible, pull them across with me.
- George Carlin
There is more evidence of the existence of UFOs than the existence of God, yet if you mention that you believe in UFOs, you're considered a kook. Whereas if you believe in this man in the sky, you're going down the right path.
- George Carlin
This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new SaladShooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we've settled for.
- George Carlin
Only the young die good.
- George Hereford
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who don't vote.
- George Jean Nathan
When you're directing, you have to get up at 4:30, have breakfast at 5, leave the hotel at 6, drive an hour to location, start shooting at 8, and finish shooting around 6. Then you wrap, go to your office, and set up the next day's work. You get back to the hotel about eight or nine, hopefully get a bite to eat, then you go to your room and figure out your homework, how you're going to shoot the next day's scenes, then you go to sleep. The next morning it starts all over again.
- George Lucas, on directing Star Wars
If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
- George S. Patton, Jr.
Ambition and love are the wings to great deeds.
- Goethe
Reality is an illusion which occurs due to lack of alcohol.
- graffiti in Perth, Australia
Porn lies to us about who we are and what we want.
- graffiti in Wellington, New Zealand
If at the end your cheerfulness is not justified, at any rate you will have been cheerful.
- H. G. Wells
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
- H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
- H. L. Mencken
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
- H. L. Mencken
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
- H. L. Mencken
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
- H. L. Mencken
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand.
- H.T. Leslie
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, but are felt in the heart.
- Helen Keller
Love is like lighting; no one knows where it will strike until it has struck.
- Henri Lacordaire
There is no remedy for love but to love more.
- Henry David Thoreau
I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better.
- Henry David Thoreau
A penny saved is a penny earned.
- Henry Fielding
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
- Henry Kaiser
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- Henry Louis Mencken, editor (1880 - 1956)
The thoughtless are rarely wordless.
- Howard P. Newton
It's so easy to be stupid.
- Howin' Maggie
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost.
- J.R.R. Tolkien
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
- Jack Handy, SNL character
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
- Jackie Gleason
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
- James Joyce
Grimace personifies the child in everyone... He is Ronald [McDonald]'s special pal. Everyone loves Grimace because of his innocent loving nature. He occasionally causes trouble in McDonaldland because he is clumsy, but his friends overlook this because he is so happy.
- Jane Hulbert, McDonald's spokesperson
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
- Jason Kidd, professional basketball player
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
- Jean de La Bruyere
Surburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees and then names the streets after them.
- Jerrome K. Jerome
Never look down on anybody unless you are helping him up.
- Jesse Jackson
Have a take, don't suck.
- Jim Rome, on public speaking
Love is fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
The only thing that you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
- John Allston
Never trust a woman or an automatic.
- John Dillinger
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
- John Powell
Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
- John Wesley
People will pay more to be entertained than to be educated.
- Johnny Carson
Marriage can be whatever you define it as. For example, I don't feel like I need a piece of paper that says I own her and she owns me. I think signing a piece of paper doesn't mean anything in the eyes of God or in the eyes of people. The thing is, if you are together and you love each other and are good to each other, make babies and all that, for all intents and purposes you are married.
- Johnny Depp
Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you.
- Jon Snoddy
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
- Jonathan Larson
Only a fool holds out for top dollar.
- Joseph P. Kennedy
Every man has his follies and most often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
- Josh Billings
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
- Kahlil Gibran
Today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
- Kalisada
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
- Karen Sunde
Those things are always amazing - the hour before you meet the person you're going to marry, the last time you speak to someone before they die, even the moment before someone calls you, when they're reaching for the telephone and you don't know it yet. Those currents just beneath the surface of your life, separating and converging, all the time.
- Kirsten Bakis, in "Lives of the Monster Dogs"
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
- Lao Tsu
Those who speak do not know and those who know do not speak.
- Lao Tzu
The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
- Lord Byron
When you can't express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind.
- Lord Kelvin
I understand why people like Marilyn Monroe craved fame - it feels like love. For two seconds, you've got all these flashes going, people are so interested in you and it feels like love. But it's a pale imitation.
- Lucy Lawless, actress
We adore chaos because we love to produce order.
- M.C. Escher
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mahatma Gandhi
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
- Malcolm S. Forbes
You can’t drive a knife into a man’s back nine inches, pull it out six inches, and call it progress.
- Malcolm X
Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
- Mao Tse-Tung
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
- Maria Edgeworth, in Harry and Lucy Concluded (1825)
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
- Marilyn Monroe
Serotonin, oxytocin, and phenylethaline, the chemicals that make us feel like we're in love, are triggered by sexual involvement.
- Mark Cavanaugh, Ph.D.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
- Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
- Mark Twain
The authentic American flourishes in spite of school, not because of it.
- Mark Twain
Humor is the good-natured side of the truth.
- Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bow line. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore! Dream! Discover!
- Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain
Knowledge is a process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification.
- Martin Fischer, American philosopher, poet, and essay
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr.
Many a dangerous temptation comes to us in fine gay colors that are but skin deep.
- Matthew Henry, 17th century author
Nobody ever died of laughter.
- Max Beerbohm
Remember the past, live the present, dream the future.
- me
Extraordinary circumstances lead to blazing success.
- me
Art is the expression of perception.
- me
Comedy is the discovery of unexpected vulnerability.
- me
A good movie is like an enema for the brain and for the heart.
- me
Humor is the art of knowing which chances to take and when to take them.
- me
Intelligence is the ability to identify and achieve happiness.
- me
Intelligence is knowing when there is more to learn.
- me
Good-looking people never develop a good personalities because suitors don't require one.
- me
Live for the present. The past and the future will take care of themselves.
- me
If you're smart but unhappy, then maybe you're not so smart.
- me
The key to life is finding out what makes you happy early on so that all of the drudgery along the way is worth it.
- me
All I can do is my best.
- me
To be ignorant, to be in crisis, to have a sense of entitlement, is to be American.
- me
Silence makes intelligence irrelevant.
- Me
Complainers without suggestions are useless.
- me
Traffic is the cumulative stupidity of everyone in front of you.
- me
To me, nature is sacred. Trees are my temples and forests are my cathedrals.
- Mikhail Gorbachev
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napolean
Religion is excellent stuff for keeping the common people quiet.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
- Old Irish saying
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Without publicity, a terrible thing happens: nothing.
- P.T. Barnum
I have discovered photography. Now I can kill myself. I have nothing else to learn.
- Pablo Picasso
Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
- Pablo Picasso
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
- Pablo Picasso
Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of the mirror.
- Pamela Anderson
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
- Peter Darbo
The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
- Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs, in "Almost Famous"
Great sex is when you don't want to wash yourself for the rest of the day.
- Pierce Brosnan, actor
It takes a long time to bring excellence to maturity.
- Publius Syrus
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We aim above the mark to hit the mark.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Brick walls are there for a reason. Brick walls are not there to keep us out. Brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people.
- Randy Pausch
It's not about how to achieve your dreams. It's about how to live your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.
- Randy Pausch
The arithmetic of love is unique. Two halves do not make a whole. Two wholes make a whole.
- Rannie
If we listened only to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair or friendship. We'd never go into business. Well, that's nonsense. Sometimes you've got to jump off cliffs and grow your wings on the way down.
- Ray Bradbury
If he is a man of honor in one thing, he is that in all things.
- Raymond Chandler
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
- Roald Dahl
Baseball writing is like most things, there are a few idiots, a bunch of mediocrities, and a few true talents.
- Rob Neyer, baseball writer
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
- Robert A. Humphrey
Sometimes, the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honor, courage, and virtue mean everything. That power and money, money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. That true love never dies. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. A man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.
- Robert Duvall, as Hub McCann in "Secondhand Lions"
In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.
- Robert G. Ingersoll
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Robin Williams
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
- Rod Stewart
Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? Am I making believe I see in you, a woman too perfect to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because I want you? Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream, or are you really as beautiful as you seem?
- Rodgers & Hammerstein, from "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?"
I very rarely rent adult films. If I'm in a film, I might try to catch some of the acting in it [and] fast-forward through the boring sex scenes.
- Ron Jeremy, porn star
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne Barr
What's that you're eating? You got rocks in your head? I'm not living with a fat bitch.
- Russell Crowe, from "Romper Stomper"
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
- Samuel Johnson
It is better to throw a theoretically poorer pitch whole-heartedly, than to throw the so-called right pitch with feeling of doubt.
- Sandy Koufax, in "A Thinking Man's Guide to Baseball"
Don't look back, something may be gaining on you.
- Satchel Paige
The only change is that baseball has turned Paige from a second-class citizen into a second-class immortal.
- Satchel Paige, after being named to the Hall of Fame's new wing for old-time Negro-leagues players
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
- Sharon Stone
My beheading by Louis XV cured my stage fright.
- Shirley Maclaine
America is a great mistake.
- Sigmund Freud
The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
- Sigmund Freud
God doesn't do something like that - give you a toy and tell you not to play with it.
- Sister Wendy Beckett, on human sexuality
All that I know is that I know nothing.
- Socrates
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Value your words. Each one may be the last.
- Stanislaw J. Lec
I don't think the human race will survive the next thousand years, unless we spread into space. There are too many accidents that can befall life on a single planet. But I'm an optimist. We will reach out to the stars.
- Stephen Hawking
My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading.
- Steve Jobs
You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
- Steve Martin
Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
- Steve Martin, as Harris K. Telemacher in "L.A. Story"
Violence is a spectacle that lends itself to symbolism, while diplomacy is a prolonged and boring stretch of reality that puts all observers -- and not a few of the participants -- to sleep.
- Steven Goldman, author of "Mind Game"
Before I go off and direct a movie I always look at 4 films. They tend to be: Seven Samurai, Lawrence of Arabia, It's A Wonderful Life, and The Searchers.
- Steven Spielberg
Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to, and I see another movie I want to make.
- Steven Spielberg
I think that the Internet is going to have the most profound effect on the entertainment industries combined. And we're all going to be tuning into the most popular Internet show in the world, which will be coming from some place in Des Moines. We're all gonna lose our jobs. We're all going to be on the Internet trying to find an audience.
- Steven Spielberg
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
- Sun Tzu
Know about both yourself and the enemy, and you will be invincible.
- Sun Tzu
The journey is the reward.
- Taoist saying
Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.
- Ted Kennedy
Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.
- Teddy Roosevelt
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, checkered by defeat, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much, nor suffer because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
- Teddy Roosevelt
Every Saint has a past, every Sinner a future.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker
Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise.
- Thomas Gray
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley, British biologist
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
- Thomas Szasz, psychiatrist
I think there's a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, in 1943
Every exit is an entry somewhere.
- Tom Stoppard
If you put a baseball and other toys in front of a baby, he'll pick up a baseball in preference to the others.
- Tris Speaker, professional baseball player
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women, and Irish whiskey. The other 10 percent I'll probably waste.
- Tug McGraw, Philadelphia Phillie pitcher, on his salary
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.
- Tyrell, character in "Bladerunner"
Remember to be nice to the people on the way up the ladder of success, because you will see the same people on the way back down.
- unknown
It's God's responsibility to forgive Bin Laden. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting.
- US Marine Corps
The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.
- Victor Hugo
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.
- Vince Lombardi
Men argue, nature acts.
- Voltaire
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
- Voltaire
In God we trust; all others must bring data.
- W. Edwards Deming, physicist
People will always try to stop you from doing the right thing if it is unconventional.
- Warren Buffett
Skate to where the puck is going, not where it is.
- Wayne Gretzky
We miss 100% of the shots we don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Here's the truth of it: You could fire any actor and replace him in a day and not miss a beat. Any actor. The best of the best is replaceable. That's the big lie in Hollywood.
- William H. Macy
My ass is for sale, and I want to do big movies that pay a lot of money to shoot in LA. Starting right now: no more art. Recently, I realized I've got all these artistic frequent-flier miles and so, I'm cashing them in. I want to do big, fat movies.
- William H. Macy
The fear of life is the favorite disease of the twentieth century.
- William Lyon Phelps
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
- William Shakespeare
There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare
This above all; to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare, from "Hamlet"
Today equals the sum of yesterday's dreams and tomorrow's memories.
- William Shubin
Courage is the first of human qualities, because it's the quality which guarantees all others.
- Winston Churchill
The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing, and baffling expedience of delays is coming to a close. In its place, we are coming to a period of consequences.
- Winston Churchill, 1936
Better brutal honesty than tender lies.
- WJH (?)
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
- Woody Allen
The saddest thing in life is a missed opportunity.
- Woody Allen
Are we to look at cherry blossoms only in full bloom, the moon only when it is cloudless?
- Yoshida Kenko
